the mundane

I was at work today and I realized that I am very underwhelmed with my job right now. I work for a county board of developmental disabilities. Yes, it is rewarding and stressful all at the same time. No, it honestly does not take a special person, only a willing one.

I have had a particularly difficult month this August. It seems that most of the people on my caseload have had some kind of serious problem that despite my musings that I can somehow prevent them, I cannot. I had trained and retrained staff, done a myriad of assessment, made countless phone calls, and have had what seems like an infinate amount of decision to make. All of this and I still have to admit that I am very underwhelmed.

I'm not even sure why I feel this way. I thought perhaps it is because I have mastered my current role and need a newer fresher challenge, but that is not it because each day I face something new.  I even blamed some of the other staff a little, thinking that they lacked enthusiasm for their jobs and it rubbed of on me and made me apathetic.

I think the real reason I feel so underwhelmed is because the job has become mundane. Like some many other things in life, jobs become tedious. I remember when I first started in my current role, I was filled with excitment, and wanted to take on the world. I was literally ready to solve the problems of the entire organization. Then I "grew up". I realized that my role was not to change the organization, or even the building that I work in, my role is simply to do the best job that I can do.

I advocate for people who do not have a voice of their own, I fight battles for people who cannot stand on their own feet, and I act as a calming presence in the lives of a few people. This seems awesome and like anyone would want to do something like this. To help people and get paid for it, that's cool. This like most people's jobs becomes trudgery. My peers and I go to work, we do paperwork, we make phone calls, we go to meetings, we fill out reports, etc. It is all the same really. I think everyone feels this way about what they do.

People get discouraged or they fall into a set pattern. Their routine has no variety and pretty soon, life has become mundane. People ask what is interesting about life and the answer is, "nothing." Yet if I were to talk to anyone other than myself, I would think that their life is amazing. They could be a cheese maker and I would be riveted to my seat when they told me how to make mozzerella or cheddar. However, to the cheese maker that's mundane.

I say this. Life is what you make of it. My life is not mundane because it is routine or lacks variety. My life is mundane because I view it as such. Perhaps instead of wondering if there is something better out there, maybe I should wonder how I can make things better right here. What I am really saying is that I could either let life pass me by and call it mundane or I could take life out for a spin and see how far I can go.